How Did I Get Here from There?

The most eventfull part of this week has been how uneventful it’s been. I have the normal day to day stuff that that you do but life once again has fallen into a pattern. The differance is that I live as a girl most of the time.  Ten days later that seems normal. I get up in the morning, take a shower fix my hair, pick out my clothes dress put on my make-up and meet the world! I can even put on eye liner on a moving train! That’s a major accomplishment. I’ve not experienced any ostracisim for my change from anyone yet.

The women at work are wonderful. I'm just another one of the girls. I have conversations with other women in the Lady's Room! My biggest fear has turned out to be nothing at all. The professionals, shrinky-dinks of various credintials, call me Joanna. The other clerical and adimistrative workers call me Joni. I am blessed that I work with an exrtordinary group of men and women.

I've had a little time to reflect on recent events and I realized that my corset is what caused me to take the plunge. It's white satin and of an Edwardian style, which means it has shoulder straps and can be warn over the breasts or under as there are no cups. I bought it several years ago to give me curves in tight fitting outfits but was quickly dismayed to learn sheer styles reveal the boning and lacings of the garment. I used it as gift wrapping on a couple of sex-capades but mostly it stayed in my closet, unused.

I have occassional problems with my lower back and sometime in March the pain started to get acute. It was getting ready to go and I knew from past experience that I'd be looking at a week of bed rest or a steady diet of Vicoden and Soma to get me through it. I started taking a hot shower in the morning followed by yoga stretches before dressing for work.  That helped but relief came when I remembered my mom's corset that she wore for her back problems when I was a kid! I thought, why not try the one hanging in the closet? So I did. The support that it gave my mid section eliminated the stress on my muscles and I continued with all my normal activities.

It did some other things as well. It gave me curves where there should be curves. It made my breasts more prominent. I gained confidence that I could be a woman. Shortly after that I went for the laser hair removal on my face. I started to believe in my self and my ability to transition into a woman. I would not go back. I'd wanted this all my life and now was the time. That's when I approached my supervisor about what I wanted to do.

Originally published  05/18/2006